my life as a rock opera

i'm in such a weird mood right now.  i don't know what it is.  i'm crazy annoyed but i'm feeling so ambitious.  i just want to shrink back into a corner right now and conquer something.  so this is what i'm shrinking into the corner to conquer: my rock opera.  it's none of my own songs/lyrics/whatever but songs that seem to be perfectly shouting what it's like to be me.  most of it seems to be my personal favorite rock opera since the whole album is about what i seem to be about.

the used: "lunacy fringe"

this song in general seem like something that i am.  i'm just constantly on the verge of blowing up and whatnot.  the chorus was especially like me tonight, i was just annoyed and irritated about random stuff.  people just get mad at me for being myself and tell me to stop being myself.  anyone who knows me knows that i'm a) vocal b) obnoxious and c) emotional(to a certain point)  when people tell me to stop being that it just makes me uncomfortable.  it's not me.  

"do, do you, do you know? do you know how long i've waited?  to look up, from below, just to find someone like you.  and will your love light burn me baby? burn a hole right through my heart? i think i might just trust you maybe, but i'm not sure, i'm not sure i wanna know.  

i'm so far gone now, i've been running on empty. 

i'm so far gone now, do you wanna take me on?"

yea, anyway, i just feel so overlooked sometimes.  and it's just wearing thin on me. with that last thought it makes me think of one of my favorite songs by armor for sleep, "remember to feel real."  this whole song just screams out of everything that i feel so much when people tell me to be different.

"so here's the truth you were right all along.  you were never my friend and i was living a lie, but i won't fall for it next time

you figured me out like a leaf in the wind, i try to find who i am but wind up lost in the end. sometimes it's hard to know what's real and you're not...

just you know i change myself to impress whoever happens to be next to me, but i'm sick of trying so hard.  

waste all your time with me?  i know i'm a mess right now, don't give up on me.

i'd wait it out for you..."

so much of that song just clicks.  i love that song.  i always seem to be the one who is overlooked or people expect me to change to fit in. 

i want someone who accepts me how i am.  it always seems to be something, either i'm not "the right person" or i have crappy timing or something.  just having something go right for once would be great. instead it's more like "somebody else's arms," by armor for sleep

"well it's only love it's not real anyways, it's not real

you're gonna die in somebody else's arms and i have to live with that...

and i'll say 'send me a card when you get to where you think you should be'

are you where you think you should be?

too bad you're missing the boat and i'm gone, call me when you come around.

will you call me when you come around?"

i don't think they will...

there's so much more to it, i just can't get it out right now.  i'm just hitting a block right now.  more to follow later